I want the epidural...NOW

Gloria called me when she was 37 weeks pregnant. When she called I was hesitant to be her doula because I had a client whose due date was very close to hers and I was afraid they would overlap. Then, I thought, what are the chances they would really deliver on the same day??

I went to Gloria's house a few days after her initial phone call and immediately liked her. She was young and full of energy and a very warm person. She had already been through a lot, having decided to keep the baby despite her boyfriend threatening to break up with her if she did. She decided that she would rather keep her baby and be single than terminate the pregnancy. Luckily she had the strong support of her family and she was at peace with her decision.

When I asked her about the pain relief techniques she wanted to employ during labor she assured me that she had an extremely high pain tolerance and would not need to use any drugs. I said, "great" and we went about discussing natural birthing methods.

Just a few days later, mere hours after my other client delivered her baby(!), Gloria called me. She thought her water had broken and she was definitely noticing mucus. I asked her if the fluid had been clear and she said it was. Although she was not experiencing any contractions, she was feeling anxious and I told her to call the midwives and chat about her options and then call me back. When she called back a couple of hours later, she was headed to the hospital but still not having any regular contractions. I told her to give me a call when she was admitted and let me know how things were progressing. A few hours later I got a call from a very different-sounding Gloria. She told me to come as soon as I could...these contractions were getting tough. Twenty minutes later (at 4:30am) I was at her bedside encouraging her to breathe. She was BEGGING for pain medication. I reminded her of her former desire for natural childbirth...she would have none of it. After much encouraging we tried getting up and walking. Then the shower. Finally the birth ball. Through all of this she was begging for pain medication...and she was only 3cm. Her midwives, her mother and I really tried but ultimately, she knew what she wanted. Because the baby's heart rate was a bit irregular, she was discouraged from using Nubain and instead opted for the epidural.

Gloria was the old Gloria again after the epidural. She was bright, enthusiastic and even cracking jokes. After a bit she fell asleep and I took her mother down to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. Gloria was in and out of sleep for the next three hours... She was a happy lady. When she awoke around 1pm we talked for awhile and she was beginning to feel pressure. When the midwife checked her shortly thereafter she was almost fully dilated. Since she had the epidural we decided to wait a bit before encouraging pushing but Gloria was told not to push the button for more pain medication so that she could regain some feeling before pushing. About an hour later the midwife came in again to survey the scene. It seemed like Gloria was really getting ready to push. Gloria's mother was on her left, I was on her right, the nurse was setting up all of the birthing supplies and the midwife wedged herself right in between all of us. It was a great group of women. We were all speaking a mixture of Spanish and English and generally having a great time. Gloria was a great pusher (and was joking around between pushes) and a half hour later Jack was born. He was ADORABLE. Just a little over 6lbs with a full head of black hair. He even latched on right away. All of us were immediately in love with the little guy...especially his grandma. She was smitten. I think she called fifty people in the next half hour. There was such a wonderful energy in the room and everyone was genuinely thrilled that the birthing had gone so well. The midwife left to take care of another patient and said "hey ladies, thanks for the party" on her way out.

The experience with Gloria taught me to really listen to my clients and realize that even if they didn't want an epidural beforehand, they may and can change their minds. And sometimes it ends up being the best thing for them. Everyone's experience is so different, and you just have to adapt to the changing needs of each person. I was also enamored with the power of an all-woman birthing room. It was really a beautiful group and I felt honored to be a part of it.