the client that wasn't

I know now that being a doula is all about being flexible. You have to be able to roll with whatever happens or you will become frustrated. Alicia's birthing (see previous entry) was not actually supposed to be my first doula experience. Even before meeting Alicia I had met with another young woman named Maria from Puerto Rico. Only 20 years old she was here with very little family support. She had an Aunt in the area and the rest of the family and the uninvolved father of the baby were back in Puerto Rico. She spoke no English and seemed pretty scared and overwhelmed by the whole prospect of birthing and raising a baby with limited supports (rightfully so!)

Her midwife suggested that she should have a doula with her during her birth experience to support her and help her express herself to her medical providers (who would most likely be only English-speaking). I gladly met with her and offered my services for free. Since I speak fluent Spanish the communication wasn't a problem but she still didn't seem 100% psyched about having a doula. I asked her if this was what she really wanted "si, si" she assured me. OK...

Over a week past her due date, I began to worry about how she was feeling. I knew that when I met her at 36 weeks she was already really anxious to get the baby out. I called her on the phone and she said that she was still pregnant and REALLY hoping to give birth that week. I again explained that she should call me at the onset of labor and give me a heads up when she was going to the hospital. She agreed.

Well...a few days later, I noticed her name on the hospital census (my other job involves working with the newborns at the hospital she was supposed to deliver at). She had given birth that morning! No call! I was shocked at first, then upset. I had put aside a lot of time to be there for her delivery (I had even skipped out on watching my boyfriend's marathon so that I could be in town in case she delivered). Then I went up to the post-partum floors to see her and the baby and get the story. I saw that little girl and melted. A beautiful 7lb baby looking so peaceful. Her mom apologized profusely for not calling---"everything just happened so fast! I was throwing up and I had no control over my body."

Birth can take us by surprise. I guess you just have to roll with it.